I wish I could…really…
Deception is all over me.
-
(via loveyourchaos)
silly girl, you don’t get it do you?
I don’t know why I am feeling this way. Again. It’s not a good feeling. It’s not a good sign. But I can’t just make THAT decision now. I mean, after all there WAS something that I liked before about it. And now it’s just missing. And I don’t know if I can revive the feeling…I don’t even know if I’ve made the right choices all this while. I don’t know if I’m good enough. And I don’t know why I want to be alone all the time. But I feel at peace like this. I enjoy MY time alone; with no worries. But there’s this guilt in me. Feeling guilty for being selfish. Oh dear, what have I done…What have I got myself into…via loveyourchaos➜ -
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To Dinah & Hazwani Let’s go out together one day. We must. Soon. Okay Bye.
-
➜
gotta love the outlook of my “pasar malam”
<3
-
➜
(via papertissue)
“When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, give it back a thousand reasons to smile.”
-Syamin’s
to me, crying does not mean you are weak, it shows the strength in you. straightaway after you were born, you cried; that means you are alive.
-Dinah
<3
-
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Boo hoo I’m sick..
-
➜
I just so suddenly fell in love with Relient K again.
-
➜
as much as possible I want you to understand that I am ME. I am not like any other girls out there. and I am FAR from similar. I want…no I NEED you to understand that I NEED you to trust me in everything I do. When there’s no trust, nothing works, you get me? When I made that decision then, I didn’t take it so lightly. And with that decision I had my own expectations. I am trying and I know we’re lacking communication. I don’t deny that but seriously, I’m trying. But maybe not as hard as you. all I can say is I’m sorry. I really am. Maybe I’m not like the others. Just so you know this is me. So what now..? I see that you’re blaming me for not having time for you? pfft. I’m gonna be a bitch here but what do you think is more important; school or you? I shouldn’t be saying this here but heck. I got pissed off by what you said okay? If you think I’m heartless for not spending time with you, then sadly for you, you haven’t seen my worst. But I’m not intending to show it to you because you don’t deserve it. So I’m really warning you, don’t try me.But let’s throw away the ego and on a serious note….from the bottom of my heart. I’m truly and deeply sorry for being so absent-minded. I forgot that you have became part of me. I’m sorry I’m too career-minded. I not only not have time for you but myself too. so don’t think I’m abandoning you because I’ve long abandoned myself. I don’t mean to what, torture you this way. But it’s just not the best of times. I didn’t expect things to turn out this way either. Shit, another screwed up situation. pfft. I hate myself. -
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Pernah tak kau rasa atau faham perasaan seseorang dengan sepenuhnya? Aku rasa aku selalu faham kenapa orang rasa apa yang dia orang rasa. Tapi hakikatnya, aku tak faham diri aku sendiri. Aku sendiri tak faham kenapa aku berlaku macam gini. Wajar ke tidak seseorang itu membuat kesilapan berulang kali kerana tersalah buat andaian pada kali pertamanya? Pada aku memang wajar. In fact, kalau berkali-kali orang tu buat salah sebab tiap-tiap kali andaian dia salah pun tak salah. Kita manusia. Tak akan lepas dari kesilapan. Tapi kalau setiap kali, masalah tu libatkan orang lain, libatkan perasaan dia orang…tak ke melampau? Aku benci diri aku sebab aku macam gini. Aku tak tau kenapa. Orang cakap orang faham apa yang aku lalui tapi aku rasa dalam seribu yang cakap tu, satu je yang benar-benar faham. Aku pun tak salahkan dia orang kalau dia orang tak faham aku. Sebab aku pun tak faham diri aku.
Apa yang pasti…No wait, ini andaian jugak sebab aku tak tau ni pasti ke tidak. Aku rasa aku betul-betul tak sedia dengan semua ni. Aku masih nak hidup macam dulu. Aku rasa aku tak suka ditemani. Sebab, jelas aku tak cukup masa sendirian. Ada saja orang disamping aku. Dari kecik aku tidur berteman…Sampaikan sekarang pun masih berteman. Aku jenis yang suka sendirian. Aku lebih bebas kalau aku sendirian. Tapi kadang-kadang memang tak kena gaya. But that’s not the point. Macam mana kalau aku betul-betul menyakiti hati orang-orang yang aku sayang? Di luar jangkaan aku dan di luar kawalan aku. Siapa tak nak berteman. Semua orang nak. Tapi aku tak suka kalau aku kena ikut atau kena buat benda yang aku tak suka. Kalau asyik kena ikut jalan aku pun, tak adil. Tapi…Aku degil, aku keras kepala. Kalau aku tak suka, aku cakap.
Macam mana? Jahat ke aku buat orang macam gitu? Zalim ke aku? orang kata…mula-mula nikmat dia lain bila dah lama-lama nanti. Bila dah lama-lama cepat bosan lah cepat marah lah. Tapi…entahlah.
Masalahnya aku agaknye.
